


Saffrashinu

by kho



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Drugs, Gen, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-01
Updated: 2011-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kho/pseuds/kho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John grins and stretches an arm out, fingering the frayed edges of Rodney’s sock.  “Still claim that toking pot once in college had no effect on you?  Because you are high as a kite right now and this may not exactly be pot but it’s pretty much the same thing.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saffrashinu

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I'm indulging in cliche's lately. Today's cliche? The team gets high. Next cliche up? More Aliens Made Them Do It, because it was really fun last time.

  
“Okay this,” John says, stretching lazily, rolling his head around and cracking his neck, “is definitely cool.”

Ronon flops down in the grass, face first. “Mmm.”

Teyla smiles a slow, lazy smile. “Did I not tell you that the Bolchina’s were a welcoming people?”

John grins, kicking his feet up against the tree next to Rodney’s head and laying down on his folded arms, staring up through the leaves at the sky. “You did.”

“Teyla. Teyla.” Rodney frowns, clearing his throat and fumbling with his computer. “Teyla?”

Teyla reaches out a steady hand and places it comfortingly on Rodney’s thigh. “I am here, Rodney.”

“Right, yes, of course you are,” Rodney says, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He leans his head back against the tree and regards her curiously. “I swear I had something to ask you.”

“Hey, Rodney?”

Rodney frowns some more, still tapping at his computer. “What, Colonel?”

“Why are you working on your computer?”

“Because there’s a…” Rodney huffs, jabbing his finger at the screen. “Because.” He flings the computer into the grass. “Because I don’t know what’s happening here and usually when I don’t know what’s happening I fix it with my computer except I’ve somehow forgotten how to, ya know… turn it on.”

John grins and stretches an arm out, fingering the frayed edges of Rodney’s sock. “Still claim that toking pot once in college had no effect on you? Because you are high as a kite right now and this may not exactly be pot but it’s pretty much the same thing.”

“It didn’t,” Rodney says vehemently. “Only, ooooh, I would kill for some cheetos right now.”

John laughs, fingers still idly playing with Rodney’s ankle. “For me it was always funyuns.” He licks his lips and closes his eyes. “Mmm, funnnnnn-yunnnnns.”

“What are these…” Teyla takes off her jacket and rolls her shoulders, grin widening, “funyuns?”

“They’re these…” John frowns, holding up a hand and forming an O with his thumb and index finger. “These little chip-sized, crunchy, kind of like… like onion rings that are… what’s it. Fried onions? But it’s not, it’s… it’s good, is what it is,” he finishes finally. “And fun to say. Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn--”

“Processed crap,” Rodney says, pulling his foot out of John’s grasp. He flips around to lie back on the grass next to John, their shoulders touching. “No nutritional value whatsoever.”

John blinks at him. “-- Yunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns.” He blinks again, and frowns at Rodney. “And cheetos aren’t nutritious either, stupid.”

Rodney rolls his eyes. “Stupid?”

“Yup,” John says, swatting Rodney’s shoulder and then doing some sort of complicated acrobatic move wherein he wound up with his head in Rodney’s stomach by somehow catapulting himself in the air and turning while he was in the air. “You’re a stupid stupidheaded stupid.”

Teyla has apparently decided that Rodney’s stomach looks like a very nice pillow as well and has stretched out to lay her own head beside John’s from the other side. Rodney’s fairly certain he meant to reach out and push both of them off of him but instead winds up threading his fingers through their hair, petting them like he used to pet his cat.

Rodney chews on his lip. “Aw. Whiskers. I miss him so much.”

John snorts. “Whiskers? Is that your cat? That’s so unoriginal.”

“He was a stray,” Rodney says, reaching back to pull his pack over to use as a pillow before reaching back down to brush Teyla’s hair out of her face. “I wasn’t planning on keeping him but then it got cold and I didn’t want to walk out to a dead cat on my porch so I brought him inside. I called him Whiskers because I assumed one day his owner would find him and I didn’t want to be attached, but unfortunately I got attached anyway.”

John opens one eye to look at him. “His owners did try to find him didn’t they? And you kept him!”

Rodney sighs. “Well he was so comfortable in the bed I bought him!”

John swats at his leg. “Rodney!”

“We did not domestisize our animals on Athos,” Teyla says softly. “But there was a bonyana that I was very fond of. It very much resembled one of your Earth’s… deer, I believe you call them. He would come by the settlement on cold nights and we would wake to find him asleep in one of our tents.” She smiles and laughs lightly. “He rather enjoyed our teas.”

“Huh,” Rodney says, hand stilling in her hair. “I wonder what he did on cold nights once you left.”

John’s hand squeezes painfully into Rodney’s calf and Rodney looks down to see John glaring at him.

“I have many times wondered that myself as well, Rodney,” Teyla says, her voice sad and small.

“Way to go, Rodney. Bring us down,” John says, sighing heavily.

“I have not been brought down, John. I often have wondered that. He only speaks his mind. I have come to expect and even appreciate that about you, Rodney,” she says, smiling at him and reaching up to take his hand. She brings it to her lips and kisses it softly, winding her fingers with his.

“I…” Rodney swallows. “Thank you. Not many people appreciate that about me.”

“Then it is their loss,” Teyla says. “They are missing out on a wonderful and loyal friend.”

Rodney looks at John and sees a smile in place of the frown that was there moments before. “Ditto, buddy.”

Rodney feels touched and humbled and clears his throat around the lump he finds crowding his throat. “Seriously, nobody has any cheetos? Or funyuns?”

“Funnnnnnn--”

“Oh god,” Rodney says, smacking himself in the face. “Sheppard, really.”

“Yunnnnnns.” John almost doesn’t get it out because he starts laughing in the middle of it, his hacking, braying laugh, that made kids run away from him. Rodney finds himself laughing as well.

“We had yertz,” Ronon mumbles, talking through the dirt without bothering to turn his face. “They would crawl into our sleeping rolls on cold nights, but you had to be careful or they’d eat your balls.”

“Holy shit,” Rodney says, looking at him. “Eat them?”

Ronon grunts. “You ever find a yertz in your bag, don’t roll over on it.”

John laughs harder.

“I miss my left nut.”

John stops laughing. “Wait.”

“Ronon, I’ve seen you naked, you have both balls,” Rodney said.

“Yeah,” John says, sitting up and pointing at Rodney. “Me too. You have both!”

“We have three,” Ronon says, still not moving, a dead weight in the grass.

“Oh my god, really,” Rodney squeaked.

“No,” Ronon says, and the grass billowed out where he snorted.

Teyla’s laughter is like music and it soothes whatever tirade Rodney momentarily felt like going on. “Caveman.”

“Fatman.”

“Hey, come on,” John says, flopping back down on Rodney’s stomach. “No bickering. I’ll turn this car around.”

“Oh, wow,” Rodney says, spreading his arms out and closing his eyes. “I generally don’t condone drug usage as a form of relaxation, but I am wholeheartedly in favor of regular visits to Bolchina. I have not felt this relaxed in years.”

“We should get some of this shit to bring home,” John says, sounding just as content as Rodney felt.

“The Bolchina’s do not trade their saffrashinu weeds,” Teyla says, sounding forlorn. “My people have tried on many occasions to offer our services in exchange but they have steadfastly refused. They share willingly with their trusted friends but will not allow us to take any with us when we go.”

“That’s a shame,” Rodney says, running his fingers up the long blade of grass. A fine dew shines on it and he watches, fascinated, as it drips off the blade onto his hand. It travels down his hand to his elbow and back into the ground. “Perhaps if we offered our technology, gave them one of our jumpers.”

“We’re not giving them one of our jumpers,” John says sternly.

“But we have twice as many now that we’ve discovered the underwater bay,” Rodney says dejectedly.

“No, Rodney,” John says, digging his head into Rodney’s stomach in what was probably meant as revenge but instead somehow just tickled. “We can just come back,” John says, sounding hopeful. “Regular visits.”

“The Bolchinas only share their spirits with friends during this month,” Teyla says, shaking her head.

“Damn,” John says.

Rodney frowns. “So. Next year then?”

“Oh definitely,” John says. “And no one mentions this in their reports, or else we’ll have to fight for what team gets to come next year. We simply say it was a boring harvest festival.”

“Deal,” Rodney says, nodding.

“Is that not dishonest,” Teyla asks.

“Okay,” John said, craning his neck to look at the top of her head. “Then put it in the mission report. I’m sure Lorne and his team will happily tell us all about all the relaxation they enjoyed next year when they’re done.”

Teyla frowns. “Boring harvest festival. I see. Yes.”

“This is better than sex,” Rodney says suddenly, grinning. “After sex I feel like this but then there’s changing the sheets and then my back hurts and then there’s the inevitable break up to look forward to and it’s all complicated, but this… this is cleaner, and better. No need to ask if it was good for her, or make sure she came… Pretend I didn’t say that. No frustration involved at all or sense of impending doom.” He frowns. “Well, aside from the knowledge that I’ll have to wait another year to experience it.”

“You’ve been having sex with the wrong people if this is better, McKay,” John says wryly. “There’s the whole orgasm thing, for one.”

“Yes, but one may use ones own hand to achieve that, this is much simpler and longer lasting,” Teyla says.

John and Rodney both sit up and gape at her and her head flops unceremoniously to the ground.

She looks up at them. “Have I said something wrong?”

John and Rodney look at each other. “No, no,” Rodney says, swallowing thickly. “We’re just… most women don’t…”

“Well they do,” John says, grimacing slightly. “But they don’t usually… talk about it.”

“Your people have stupid hang ups about sex,” Ronon says from his sprawl. “On Sateda nobody cared who you fucked, man, woman, or your own fist. Your people get put in jail for fucking, and everyone gets all weird and red if you talk about jerking off.”

“Not all of our people get put in jail for sodomy,” John says, lips poking out into a pout. “Just the American military ones.”

Ronon grunts. “Still say it’s stupid.”

“Yeah,” John says, flopping back down and slinging an arm over his eyes. “McKay, shut it.”

Rodney squawks. “I didn’t say anything!”

“I’m not in the mood to hear one of your Anti-American diatribes right now, okay?”

Rodney looks at him for a moment. “It bothers you doesn’t it? When I say that kind of thing.”

“Well yeah, Rodney, a little bit,” John says, frowning. “I kind of suit up and put myself out there to get shot at on a daily basis for America, so yeah, it bothers me when you shit on my country.”

“Oh,” Rodney says, and reaches down to card his fingers through John’s hair as an apology. “I’ll try to keep it to myself.”

“Thanks,” John says, hard edge gone and replaced by softness. “I’d appreciate that.”

“I wish you would have said something sooner,” Rodney says, feeling guilty and extremely bothered that he’d upset John so many times throughout the years. “I never knew you cared.”

“I don’t know why I said anything now,” John says, sounding confused. “I mean, it bugs me but I know where you’re coming from. I know you don’t mean it as a personal assault. I guess it bothered me more than I realized.”

“I miss my people,” Ronon says, suddenly sitting up. “Every day.”

John sucks in a breath. “Jesus, buddy. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“Nothing to say,” Ronon says, standing and walking over to them, squatting next to Rodney and folding his legs underneath him. “It’s better now though. You’re my people now. Wouldn’t trade that.”

“Me too. I love you guys so much,” John says softly, sitting up and turning his back on them. “You guys are more my family than my real family ever was.” He laughs then, and turns his head to look at them. “I don’t know why I said that either. I keep having urges to tell you everything that comes to my mind. I don’t remember pot doing this,” John says quietly, twirling a piece of grass in his fingers. “Beer, yes, but not pot.”

Teyla sits up as well and smiles fondly at John. “You did not pay attention to the speech the chieftain gave as we smoked the saffrashinu did you?”

John cringes. “Um, well?”

“This galaxy is too speech obsessed,” Rodney says, waving a hand. “If I had to pay attention to every speech that was given in this galaxy I’d shoot myself in the head.”

“The purpose of the saffrashinu is to aid one to cleanse their soul of all that ails them,” Teyla says patiently. “It is meant to bond those to those that they are closest to by giving you the ability to be truly open and honest with one another.”

John’s eyes widen. “Um. Are you saying we just smoked truth serum?”

“I believe she did, yes,” Rodney says, clearing his throat.

John looks stricken and Rodney hurriedly begins speaking to save John whatever urge he was having of oversharing. “I am head over heals, slap stupid in love with Carter,” Rodney said, looking away. “And I don’t have a snowballs chance in hell because I fucked it up within the day of meeting her by calling her a dumb blonde and telling her she might as well give up on her teammate because he was most likely dead.”

“Teal’c,” John says, cringing. “Yeah she told me about that. Smooth, buddy.”

Rodney sighs. “I was so sure of myself. Everything was so clear then, so… linear. If A, then B. Outside factors didn’t matter, all that mattered was the science. Emotions were backseat to truth.” He shakes his head. “My life was so empty.”

Ronon smirked. “You’re wrong.”

“Yes, I know that now, friendship means something, people mean something,” Rodney says, waving a hand. “I’ve learned my lesson.”

“No,” Ronon says, smirking even harder. “I mean, she wants you, McKay.”

Rodney jerked his head to look at him. “What?”

John nodded. “You’ve come a long way since then, Rodney. She noticed.”

“No, no, no, wait,” Rodney says. “What?”

“She wants to have sex with you,” Ronon says, laughing at Rodney’s stricken face. “It was obvious. How she looked at you.” He shrugged. “She was also disgusted by you, but she still wanted to fuck you.”

“Huh,” Rodney says. “That seems to be a running theme with me. Disgusted by me and yet also wants to have sex with me.”

“I’m not disgusted by you,” John says, and then shuts his mouth and closes his eyes. “I didn’t say that. Pretend I didn’t say that.”

Rodney’s mouth falls open. “Sheppard, are you saying--”

“I didn’t say anything,” John shouts, squeezing his eyes shut tighter. “It’s the drugs, they’re fucking with my ability to keep my damn mouth shut. You cannot hold this against me, Rodney!”

“No, but you can hold your dick against him,” Ronon says, and laughs loudly as John hangs his head and covers his face.

“You want me,” Rodney asks, voice going high with disbelief. “Really?”

John growls in frustration. “Oh for Christ’s sake, yes, alright?”

Rodney blinks. “Well.”

John sighs, flopping back down on the grass. “Great. Oh yes. Relaxing. Best vacation ever, wonderful idea Teyla.”

Teyla only smiled. “I agree, John. I am finding this conversation most revealing and pleasant.”

“If it would interest you to know,” Rodney says, looking up at the tree and very much not at John. “When I first saw you I thought you were the most beautiful man I’d ever laid eyes on.” He shrugs. “And then I found out you were American military and, I’m not shitting on your country I swear, but… I filed you away as a Not Even Slightly Possible and moved on.”

He can feel John’s eyes on him. “Yeah?”

Rodney nods, darting his eyes over to a serenely smiling Teyla and a smirking Ronon. “Yeah,” he mutters.

“I have often thought that you two were perfectly suited,” Teyla says, laughing. “And also, idiots.”

“Which is why you’re perfectly suited,” Ronon says, standing. “I’m hungry, when are they feeding us?”

“Whenever we wish to be fed,” Teyla says, reaching her hands out for Ronon to help her to her feet.

John stood and held out a hand to help Rodney up. He held onto Rodney’s hand for longer than was necessary. “You thought I was beautiful?”

Rodney nodded at him. “You want me?”

John grinned and Rodney grinned back. “Hungry?”

Rodney looked him up and down. “Starving.”

John’s grin turned wicked. “Yeah. After we eat.”

“Okay,” Rodney said, and they followed Ronon and Teyla back to the village.

As they reached the village John put a hand on Rodney’s shoulder. “What about Carter?”

Rodney frowned. “What about Carter?”

“Yes, now that you know you might actually have a chance with Carter, you might not want to…” John gestured with his hand. “With me.”

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Please Sheppard, Carter doesn’t hold a candle to you.” He paused, and tilted his head. “Unless you’re saying you’re not opposed to a threesome?”

John smacked him upside the head and shoved him towards the banquet hall that Teyla and Ronon had already disappeared into.


End file.
